Things I Wish I'd Known As A Teenager

I lead a group of younger girls, ages 13-18, and I want to help them get a jump-start on things that took me YEARS and many struggles to learn. I think most adults want to do that for the next generation. There are SO many things I want to teach these girls, and any middle schooler/teen, but here are three things I wish I'd been taught when I was younger.

Seasons change. This seems like an obvious one but I know that I expected things to last that weren't meant to last. Even now, I think I'm done with a season that I enjoyed and brought me a lot of growth. There is the wondering of what next and all of the experiences that come when a season ends but it's okay and it's not a bad thing. We get comfortable and like where we are and we want it to stay that way but something is almost always changing. That's the nature of things.

Friendships can be for a season. Some relationships are only for a season. It may be really short but God brings them into your life for a reason. Sometimes people come and go from your life. Everything I've been through to help me learn this lesson makes my head spin! It's been a long journey. People move and people move on. It doesn't necessarily reflect on you. I get it, it's hard and often painful but there is a purpose to them being in your life. Recently I've had to come to terms with the fact that relationships that seem like they're set for life might not actually last. That has been really hard so clearly I am still growing in this area.

Sometimes you have to learn a lesson more than once. I'm the kind of person who wants to learn and then move on. When I recognize that I'm going through something again that I thought I conquered, I feel like I'm doing something wrong; like I failed to learn the first time. But I read something (I think it was in Emotionally Healthy Spirituality) about some experiences in life being a cycle. That sometimes you go back to things over and over and that's not bad. It was helpful to learn that because now I feel less like I am failing when I go back to something I thought I was past. Still, I can't help wishing I could get past certain things.


I think that, looking back, I really had no clue how messy the world was. I would try to let teens know that while not being depressing or hopeless. Relationships are messy, people will let you down, and change comes but in the midst of it all is beauty and love, friendship and joy, and all kinds of amazing experiences. Always seek to grow and learn and look for the blessings in every circumstance. It might take some time to see it, but it's usually there.