The Comparison Trap I Fall Into

When it comes to styles, I do a pretty good job not comparing myself to others in my industry. I find myself instead being motivated to get to their level of work. I want to know how they do what they do. Most of the time it is inspiring and motivating to see what others are up to! The few times I catch myself in an envious thought I can shake myself out of it quickly and move on. I think that part of the reason is that there are things I can do to get to where they are and I want to be. Then there is something that I can do nothing about and that's where I can stumble.

It's funny and kind of dumb. I fully recognize that and when I catch my thoughts heading in that direction I remind myself of how ridiculous this really is. All right, here we go.

There are many photographers who are married to their high school sweethearts. I wouldn't say it is a majority but it's enough to make an impression on me. We'll call it a trend. And those who didn't marry their high school sweetheart married their college sweetheart. Many highly successful photographers (including my teachers Katelyn and Amy & Jordan) are married to their high school sweethearts.

You might be asking, "so what?". Well here's were my brain goes. "A lot of photographers married their high school/college sweethearts. Many of them are pretty successful. Marrying your hs/college sweetheart must be a part of why they are successful". See the trap?

I know that correlation does not equal causation. But trends are hard to ignore and my brain wants to seek out the pattern. The problem is, I cannot replicate it even if it was true. This is why such a comparison is so dangerous for me. I don't have a high school or college sweetheart so I literally cannot replicate what they have. I can't compare myself and my story because it's impossible (not to mention not a good idea in general).

I think part of why I get sucked into this comparison is that people love a good love story. A couple who has been together since freshman year of high school or knew each other since they were kids? Everyone loves that! I see a connection point, a way to relate to clients, and I want it even though I can't have it.

So what if this is the story of many photographers? It's not my story. End of story. I have to find a different connection point and my own unique way to relate to clients. This is what I tell myself when I see I'm starting to slide. It's tricky and sneaky but if God wanted me to have that story, I'd have it. I don't so I move on.

I share this with you in solidarity. We all struggle with comparisons in some way. Maybe yours is kind of silly and strange like mine and maybe it's not. But we don't have to live in that comparison. We can catch the thoughts before they take hold and correct them with the truth. Want to learn more about that? Check out Jennie Allen's book Get Out Of Your Head! I read it this year and it really helped me and opened my eyes to just what I was doing with my thoughts.