Live Day By Day In The Moment

People leaving never gets easier.

No matter how many times you go through it, someone moving or friendship fading never gets any easier.

If you're like me, you want to know "why". I have always asked God "why". Why do I have to go through this? Why did you bring me a friend to take them away again? I often look for answers and sometimes I find them (or something that at least makes sense and works as an answer, whether it's the right answer or not), and sometimes I don't. More often than not though, now I just ask "why".

It's a cry. It's all I can ask. The rest I know He understands. I heard something recently that talked about Jesus going through hurt and pain and sorrow with us. He weeps with us. I've heard that before, of course, but it's never really struck me like it does now. He's not blind to my pain. He hurts because I'm hurting. He doesn't cause my pain. He doesn't do things to hurt me. I know this but it's like I'm really hearing it for the first time.

Why did God bring someone into my life who would become a friend, why would He allow me to become a godmother, only to call away said friend after twenty months? Why did I only get six months with my goddaughter? These are my questions my hurting heart asks. I don't know the answer. But I cling to Him and His promises.

God has taught me something so valuable in this time. I've learned it in part before, but this is a new application. The lesson is to treasure each moment.

When I was younger, I would always be looking forward to the next exciting thing. It was common to hear me say, "I wish it was (fill in the blank)". I just wanted to skip everything else and get right to that anticipated event. Obviously, that never happened and I learned a great lesson - how to anticipate but not miss what I was doing until that time. Now I'm learning to live day by day and moment by moment. It's the only way I can bear this coming goodbye.

Every smile, every laugh, every cuddle, every time I play with him or she sleeps in my arms, I treasure it and I live in that moment. Each time I see my friend I focus on that time. I try not to think about the approaching day when they move so far away and I don't know when I might see them again. It's kind of hard to not think about it but that's why it's a lesson. I am learning and it's the type of lesson that I'll probably have to learn again and again. I know that I'll get opportunities to practice it again because goodbyes and leavings are a part of life.

I know that there are people who are dealing with way worse things than me. I'm not saying I have a terrible life, but this is the challenge I'm dealing with and the lesson I'm learning. What lessons have you learned in trying seasons of life? It's in the sharing of our lessons that we can help one another to grow.

Blessings,
Sarah